Standing in Line

Our society is getting primed to “stand in line.”  Standing in line is a big deal for me.  I avoid it at all costs.  My kids suffer b/c we rarely do any amusement parks or other kid “line standing” activities.  They’ll survive.

One place it really bugs me is the second line at the warehouse store to get out the door.  This is standard procedure at Costco and Sam’s, and I’ve see it at Walmart too.   I understand standing in line to check out on a busy day at peak shopping time.  Today was an example.  Sunday afternoon is not the day to visit Costco – no evidence of a recession this afternoon at the warehouse.  I, along with the herd, maneuvered our way through the store to buy imported products and then stand in long lines to pay our dollars.  Then we stand in another line so they can check to see if you’ve stolen anything.  At this point I’m thinking “false imprisonment.”  In law school, this subject fascinated me.

Here’s a definition of false imprisonment:  Intentionally restraining another person without having the legal right to do so. It’s not necessary that physical force be used; threats or a show of apparent authority are sufficient. False imprisonment is a misdemeanor and a tort (a civil wrong). If the perpetrator confines the victim for a substantial period of time (or moves him a significant distance) in order to commit a felony, the false imprisonment may become a kidnapping.

Since they are not letting me leave their establishment until I succumb to their request, I think this line falls under the tort of false imprisonment.  You have the threat of security tackling you if you skirt the line and leave without the red line on your receipt.  As I stood in line to get out the door today, this was going through my brain.  I thought about cutting and making  run for it, but I had two kids and there was too much traffic blocking my way.  I eyed the customer service entrance and could have made my way out through its entrance.  I really thought about it.  I’m sure they’d have called security.   Didn’t want my kids to see me get arrested.

What legal right do they have to retain me after I’ve paid for my goods?  After I have paid for my merchandise, it belongs to me.  However, the second line is probably somewhere in my membership agreement, so chances are I’ve given up my right to leave without being searched.   One day we’ll have to open our purses to show “no stolen goods” before we leave and I”m sure we’ll all get in that line too.

So why do they do this?  And WHY DO WE COMPLY IS THE BIGGER QUESTION??????  I understand a store may stop me if they have probable cause to believe I have stolen.  Instead of putting the burden on the store to establish probable cause, they stop everyone.  It is easier for them to make us all wait for one hired person with a magic marker than for them to bear the burden of stopping those have truly given cause.  And they don’t want to risk stopping someone who has not given prob cause and being sued.   So it is like the airport… we all take our shoes off.

We’re all becoming drones.  They tell us to stand in line and we do it.  The lines get longer and we still stand in line.  Gov’t heathcare will be great.  Almost as fun at getting a new driver’s license.

I double dog dare you to leave Costco or Sams without your red line.   Let me know how it goes.  Tape it, put it on Youtube and you’ll be famous.   We’ll start a revolution.  Yes, I was the kid at school who thought up ideas and others got in trouble.

On a side note, it you really want to get rich – think of something remarkable to do while standing in line and get a copyright.

Are children assets or liabilities?

We’re in a weird place in the world.  It is a very exciting time to be alive… and a scary time to be alive.  These time are impacting the way we view society and families… especially decisions about if/when/how many children.  Yesterday I had a moment that caused me to think about how we view children so differently than a couple of generations (or more) ago.

Many people in our society view children as a liability.  I can see why.  I thought this way for years and almost didn’t have any children b/c I didn’t like the risk/reward statistics.  One reason we view children as liabilities is b/c parents are caring and supporting for offspring until the kids are in their early 20s…. if they are lucky.  And many support their children until they die and leave their estate for their children to “manage”.    We are also relying on the gov’t to take care of mom/pop through social insecurity and medi-can’t-care, so adults no longer count on children to provide their support in old age.

We also live in a time where many children do not help around the house and will not give back as adults.  It begins with the parents because many of the household duties are outsourced today.  When we both worked, we had a maid, yard guy, dry cleaner and got meals that didn’t require much prep or cleanup.  And we left early in the morning and didn’t return until the evening.  The last thing either of us wanted was to direct children in “chores” after we’d worked all day.  Time constraints made that very impractical.  Most parents in this mode love their children tremendously (as I did), but you live the life you’re in at the moment.  It is hard.

Even households where one parent is home can also be too busy to get children involved in household responsibilities.  If you’re running to this and that multiple times a week, household stuff tends to take a back seat.  And these kids don’t contribute b/c they are not at home much either.

Yesterday the house was a mess and I was trying to clean the downstairs … got overwhelmed.  We’d been running around all week and were much busier than usual.  The girls were watching TV and I was working.  Bad idea.  I called them down and we all got to work.  They really helped me get the house in shape.  And as I thought about it, the more I invest in training them to take ownership in our home… the more of an asset they become.  I’ve known this fact for a long time, but get sidetracked implementing.

Instead, we (I’m guilty too) run around serving our children instead of teaching them responsibility.  We don’t make them eat what adults eat, we act as taxis way too much and provide too much electronic entertainment so we get a break from serving them more.  We’re (as a society…not you reading:) ) are  spoiling our next generation.  And many of those who are not spoiled are neglected.  Neglect also leads to children who do not become productive in society.

Years ago children grew up earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ran across the term “teenager” in the Bible.  Mary was probably about 15 when she had Jesus.  If our children contributed to the household at a younger age and matured earlier…. then maybe we’d start looking at children differently.  What if our kids really became adults at 18!  (Many of our young men in the military do.)  I think I’d have looked forward to motherhood at a much earlier age if I saw the job as releasing them earlier.  BTW, my view at 42 is much different now than the view of children I held in my 20s.

Parenting is wearing people out b/c it takes so many years for them to become adults…. if they ever do.  I know we’re always parents, but to have an immature son/daughter in their mid 20s has to be pure misery.   I want to be the future parent of an adult.  As a society we’ve gotten ourselves into this mess.

One silver lining to this entire economic / political mess that we’re in is that values may be realigned.  If we take families back  home and to the basics, then maybe we’ll focus more on training our kids to be assets instead of liabilities.     We may no longer qualify for the car loan to get “Jimmy” a new car at 16.  Or maybe we don’t do limos for prom anymore which is absurd in my mind.  Maybe girls don’t get solar nails before they can pay for them on their own.

Instead, mayby girls learn to cook.  Maybe Jimmy mows the grass instead of a lawn service.  They wash and put away their clothes.  And they go next door to help out the older couple… at NO CHARGE.

Yes, there may be a silver lining to economic hardship in this country.  I don’t wish for economic / political hardship but am trying to watch for where God could be changing our values back to His.  Children are a blessing from God when we do it His way.

Houston Crime

I keep hearing about “stuff happening”.  This is not crime that makes the news, but crime here and there.  I’m hearing about it more and more.   Even places where you don’t expect it.

My husband works in a tall building downtown.  He takes the elevator bank up to  the middle of the building and walks down the stairs each day.  Yesterday he found a lady’s wallet hidden in the corner of the staircase.  He took it back to his desk and started trying to find the owner.   It had credit cards and cash.  He could not find her work phone from the info, but did notice she used the same credit union that we have.

He called the credit union and gave them his info, asked that they call her and give his contact info.  Had they given us her info, we’d have been very upset.  They called her and she immediately called him.

She is in her 20s, two kids and works downtown.  She was mugged in her office building about 20 floors up from where hubby found the wallet.  The scumbag ran down the stairs and hid the wallet, not even bothering to get the cash… so police assumes he was coming back.   Lady was very shaken.   You’re more on guard for this in a parking garage or street, but not inside / top of an office building.

Good news is scumbag was caught.   Bad news is he’ll probably be back on the streets soon.  Too many of these walking around.

I was in Randall’s a few weeks ago.  A male about 55 years old standing too close to me in line -  in my personal space.  My four year old was in a dress and her undies showed a little because she was sitting in the buggy with legs hanging out (no more dresses when going to the store).  This guy was making me very uncomfortable.  I turned to look at him and he was staring at her bottom.  I started making a scene.  Very obvious pervert.  I said a few words and he responded  saying it was not my kid but my radiance.  Yea right.   A real gentleman would have realized momma bear saw him as threat and he’d have backed off.  But this guy just responded with insults.  Pests like that out for little kids need to be removed from the planet.  However, he’d done nothing illegal (right there) but be a jerk.

We just need to be even more careful.  And we can’t assume everyone is out to get us.  This weekend my mom was in the grocery store.  Her bill was $28.  She went to get money from her purse and found her wallet wasn’t there.  She only had $10 cash.  They guy behind her told the checker he’d cover the balance of $18.  He was not a rich looking fellow btw.  When my mom got back to the car, she found her wallet on the floor.  She found the guy in the parking lot and tried to repay the money.  She only had a $20.  He would only take the $20 if he had change to give her $2 back.   He joked that he would not accept a tip.   There are still many good folks out there…. just watch yourself.

Cash for Clunkers

I missed the cash for clunkers  passage while I was on vacation and just heard about it.  I hate the stimulus spending, but since it is here take a look or at this toyota ad.. if  are shopping for a new vehicle and will be trading in an older automobile.  You can get up to $4,500 for your clunker.

Here are a few facts from the gov’t site:

• Your vehicle must be less than 25 years old on the trade-in date
• Only purchase or lease of new vehicles qualify
• Generally, trade-in vehicles must get 18 or less MPG (some very large pick-up trucks and cargo vans have different requirements)
• Trade-in vehicles must be registered and insured continuously for the full year preceding the trade-in
• You don’t need a voucher, dealers will apply a credit at purchase
• Program runs through Nov 1, 2009 or when the funds are exhausted, whichever comes first.
• The vehicle that you are trading in is required to be destroyed. Therefore, the value you negotiate with the dealer for your trade in is not likely to exceed its scrap value. The law requires the dealer to disclose to you and estimate of the scrap value of your trade-in vehicle.

“I’ll pray for you” platitude

This post is for the Christian community.  It is another one I’ll probably get negative emails / comments on, but this topic has been hitting me from various places in the last month.  So I’m writing about what’s on my mind.  I have athiests friends who read my blog (btw thanks for reading) … this post is not for you.  You’re welcome to read for entertainment, but this is really engaging my Christian friends.

Our country is facing serious challenges and people are hurting.  Our family has not had life altering changes (yes our 401K is significantly down, but that is small compared to others), but you never know what the future brings.  I have friends who are seriously hurting because of the economic downturns.  And we’re not even in a part of the country that has received the brunt of this storm.  But if you’re close to one family or experiencing this yourself, it does not matter if the whole city is falling apart because your friend’s pain/ your pain is enough to get your attention.  And I’m not talking about people who are suffering self inflicted pain from very poor decisions.  There are people who’ve tried to live it right and are suffering.

I was listening to a pastor from Detroit being interviewed.  His congregation has been hit tremendously with job layoffs.  This may not be what he said, but it is what I walked away with:  In times like these, telling a person who is losing so much “I’ll pray for you” is just a platitude.  This pastor pointed out his people needed to be ready for another family to move into their basement after losing their home.  And many of the families from his congregation are stepping up to the plate and opening their homes to other families.  This is much more meaningful than “I’ll pray for you.”  It is self sacrifice to help others.

It is easy to say “I’ll pray for you” and maybe shoot up a 5 sec prayer so you’ve done it.  But it is another thing to get inconvenienced.   I’ve become desensitized when someone says “I’ll pray for you” in passing.  It is like hearing someone walk by and say “how are you?”  Many times they really don’t want to know.  I have a couple of friends / family that say “I’ll pray for you” and I value it so much because I know it is a serious commitment on their part.   But when someone in church asks how you’re doing and you share a burden, then they respond “I’ll pray for you” – many times I take this response as: get out of the conversation quick card.

I’m guilty of this, so I’m directing this to myself as well as others who are guilty.  I have have many Christian friends who are much further along providing tangible responses in addition to prayer… they are truly living a life of example.   What I’ve done is try to start responding in more of a practical way.  For example, yesterday I met a lovely woman at church who was hurting, so I invited her to our house for lunch after church.  I enjoyed my time with her and hope it brightened her day.  I will pray for her, but tried to offer friendship rather than “the phrase”.

Even though I’m not a fan of using this phrase casually, I will continue to use it in certain circumstances.  For example, last week I told others “I’ll pray for you.”  It was a response to a specific prayer request.  If someone asks others to pray for a concern, then this response is appropriate.    I will also say this to my close circle of friends / family.   And I always want to be open to the Holy Spirit guiding my words, because this may be just what someone needs to hear.  But when I do, I need to take this seriously rather than using it to move on to the next conversation.

Adoptions Declining

I’ve been wondering if domestic and international adoptions are declining.  I found this article in the Washington post describing the decline of international.   I have presumed the decline because of economics.  It is extremely expensive adopting a child either here or abroad.  However, if you go through our gov’t social services, I understand the cost is much less.  In a magazine today I read there are 143 worldwide orphans.  That is almost 1/2 the population of the United States.  My brain can’t comprehend that number and the suffering of these children.

4 years ago we adopted our third child who was from China.  We had 2 biological children and opted to adopt for our 3rd.   It is one of the best decisions Dave and I have ever made.  This child has changed our family for the better, as did our first two children.  She is our daughter just as much as her older sisters.   She is so smart and has so much potential.   She makes people smile.  Just this week she was jabbering away to me while sitting in the grocery cart and a lady I didn’t know came up to me and commented “how adorable.”  It was nice to have the reminder because I get busy and miss the “how adorable” moments when I’m keeping an eye on three kids, coordinating coupons and hoping the little one doesn’t get out of her belt land on the floor.

We considered adopting again.  Once you get the adoption bug, you want to adopt every kid you hear about.  Last summer we hosted a pre-teen girl from Ukraine in a summer camp program.  Under this program, older kids are brought to the USA for 3 weeks and live with the host family.  It gives them a chance to experience family life in America.  It also gives potential adoptive families a chance to see how the older child fits into the family dynamics.  It did not work out with the girl we hosted – she didn’t want to be adopted for reasons we understood.   I learned a lot from this experience and loved seeing our girls open their hearts/home to this child.

The older kids in Ukraine (and elsewhere) have a hard time getting placed.  If they don’t have a completed adoption by age 16 their life takes a dramatic turn.  I’m not the expert, but from what I learned these kids graduate from the orphanages at age 16.  After leaving the orphange, most are on their own.  After that many die before age 18.   Others pursue terrible jobs just to survive.

In the magazine I was reading today – Worldwide Challenge – by Campus Crusade for Christ they were taking about how tough it is to “graduate” from foster care in the USA.  I can’t imagine being an 18 year old girl and being on my own.  These young adults really need a family for support.

As times get tougher with global economic problems, I think we’ll see a larger worldwide orphan problem.  It is one of the many challenges we face as a society in the coming times.

New names for old ideas

In the frugal world, I’ve been noticing new names for what my grandparents lived out.  Here are a few:

• repurposing = One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
• stop spending to  get out of debt = waste not want not
• urban homesteads = Depression gardens
• living off the grid = the lines haven’t made it down my dirt road
• compost toilet = outhouse
• free range chicken =  chicken from your coop (not co-op)
• grass feed beef = beef from your pasture
• non-pasteurized milk = fresh milk from your cow
• organic veggies = veggies from the garden
• sustainable living = take care of what you have
• hybrid car = motorcycle with a cart on the side
• gourmet cooking = Sunday lunch
• gym membership = opps…none
• working out = working in the garden
• made in China = Chinese children
• dispute resolution = good fight and friends afterwards
• social networking = drinking iced tea on our neighbors front porch
• resale clothing = hammy downs
• fast food = leftovers

End times events blog

There’s a blog I regularly read that I have not included on my blogroll.  There are many views of end times in the Christian community, and even many more in the non-Christian community.   It is hard to find info on this topic that I completely agree with, which is why I haven’t put many on my blogroll.  However, I am fascinated with end times.  Especially with the current events we are witnessing.  I love seeing God be God.  God is so amazing.

This site takes current events each day and ties them to end times scriptures.  I do not always agree with his analysis, but it is thought provoking.   Since there’s even more going on in the middle east and our world right now, I thought I’d share this resource with my disclaimer.   When you’re reading analysis, remember you are reading man’s opinion, not God’s ultimate Word.

http://frankdimora.typepad.com/the_last_chronicles/

Being Joyful in an Uncertain Time

I’m pretty open about my view of the future.  The world is changing at breakneck speed.   This video is another example of how the world we know it may not exist  in the not so distant future.  Many of the changes in our world are wonderful and we benefit from these enormously.  However, the potential for craziness and sudden destruction is also amplified.

When I’ve posted about Celente or other grim news, I get comments and emails from other moms who are seeing the same thing.  The problem is we hear so much about the problem and less about how to adjust to this changing world.

I watch current events and try to prepare to the extent I’m able.   I’m finding these two activities are adding to my life, not adding more fear.  Some would think a focus on these things would take away from day to day life, but for me it is not the case.

Rather, there has been joy.  The more I look at current events, the closer I see Jesus’ return.  We do not know the exact time, but we do know the season.  It appears to me that we are in that season.  What an exciting time to be alive.

I’m not saying I’m never down because I still do have days of fear.  But I’m also learning joy like I’ve never known.   I listen to guys like Glenn Beck and don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  That is more reason to enjoy today.

I’m finding joy in things I didn’t notice before.  When I go into the grocery stores and see the shelves stocked, I thank God.  Before Ike, I just took it for granted.  When I can sleep at night without fear, I’m thankful we live in a place where crime is not rampant.  I’m thankful I have a sewer system that works and clean water.  I’m really thankful for our doctors and medical care.  This may seem trite, but the growing uncertainty of tomorrow is causing me to rethink today.

I’m thankful we have income.  At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. We’ve had such wealth in this country that many of our poor are rich by world standards.   The thought of seeing massive poverty is a new idea for many of us.  I believe we will have less wealth in the future.  But maybe this will strengthen our values and change our priorities.  Mine are certainly being tweaked.

I’m trying to laugh and play more with my kiddos.  The other day I played with Shea on the trampoline instead of wiping the countertops one more time.   Or sit down with the girls and read a book together.

And most importantly, I’m also finding joy in being able to worship God and have a Bible.  I recently heard if you’re caught with a Bible in North Korea that three generations in your family is executed.   Christians all around the world are facing terrible persecution.   I’m so thankful I can freely share the Gospel with my children.

There is joy in today.  I am trying to get ready for tomorrow without missing the moment now.

One more thing… here are a couple podcasts that are on point with my thoughts today that you might find helpful.

Familylife broadcast: “In uncertain times, we need to focus on that which is certain – the Word of God. Dennis Rainey helps us find certainty in uncertain times and faith in time of fear, as he offers practical tips for preparing your home to withstand the current economic and cultural storm.”

Olive Tree  Ministries May 23 2nd hour broadcast: Jerry Robinson is Jan’s guest. He is a World Net Daily columnist and author of the new book, “Bankruptcy of our Nation: 12 Key Strategies for Protecting Your Finances in these Uncertain Times.” Robinson says we are entering the most grave period of financial instability in history. He explains the real reason for the bailouts, why the dollar is doomed and what that means, the forthcoming hyper-inflationary period and how that compares to the Weimar Republic in the 1920s, and much more. Jan and Jerry also go over the 12 key strategies for your protection.

There’s also an excellent women’s Bible study in Houston teaching on this subject.  You can call the church and get CDs at little or no cost. Lois McCall is teaching “God’s Wisdom for Today’s Woman.”  I went to the first class today and it was excellent.  She showed the video at the top of this blog.

Lew Rockwell interviews Gerald Celente

I like hearing what Gerald Celente has to say.  Well, I really don’t because it is doom and gloom, however, it rings of truth.  It is not mainstream, but makes a lot of common sense to my ears.  And he has been correct in the past.  We’re not putting all our eggs in the Celente basket, but we are combining what he is saying with what we’re learning from other sources to make our purchasing and financial decisions.

Here’s his interview with Lew Rockwellhttp://www.lewrockwell.com/podcast/?p=episode&name=2009-04-26_117_the_fed_has_wounded_you.mp3