Are children assets or liabilities?

We’re in a weird place in the world.  It is a very exciting time to be alive… and a scary time to be alive.  These time are impacting the way we view society and families… especially decisions about if/when/how many children.  Yesterday I had a moment that caused me to think about how we view children so differently than a couple of generations (or more) ago.

Many people in our society view children as a liability.  I can see why.  I thought this way for years and almost didn’t have any children b/c I didn’t like the risk/reward statistics.  One reason we view children as liabilities is b/c parents are caring and supporting for offspring until the kids are in their early 20s…. if they are lucky.  And many support their children until they die and leave their estate for their children to “manage”.    We are also relying on the gov’t to take care of mom/pop through social insecurity and medi-can’t-care, so adults no longer count on children to provide their support in old age.

We also live in a time where many children do not help around the house and will not give back as adults.  It begins with the parents because many of the household duties are outsourced today.  When we both worked, we had a maid, yard guy, dry cleaner and got meals that didn’t require much prep or cleanup.  And we left early in the morning and didn’t return until the evening.  The last thing either of us wanted was to direct children in “chores” after we’d worked all day.  Time constraints made that very impractical.  Most parents in this mode love their children tremendously (as I did), but you live the life you’re in at the moment.  It is hard.

Even households where one parent is home can also be too busy to get children involved in household responsibilities.  If you’re running to this and that multiple times a week, household stuff tends to take a back seat.  And these kids don’t contribute b/c they are not at home much either.

Yesterday the house was a mess and I was trying to clean the downstairs … got overwhelmed.  We’d been running around all week and were much busier than usual.  The girls were watching TV and I was working.  Bad idea.  I called them down and we all got to work.  They really helped me get the house in shape.  And as I thought about it, the more I invest in training them to take ownership in our home… the more of an asset they become.  I’ve known this fact for a long time, but get sidetracked implementing.

Instead, we (I’m guilty too) run around serving our children instead of teaching them responsibility.  We don’t make them eat what adults eat, we act as taxis way too much and provide too much electronic entertainment so we get a break from serving them more.  We’re (as a society…not you reading:) ) are  spoiling our next generation.  And many of those who are not spoiled are neglected.  Neglect also leads to children who do not become productive in society.

Years ago children grew up earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ran across the term “teenager” in the Bible.  Mary was probably about 15 when she had Jesus.  If our children contributed to the household at a younger age and matured earlier…. then maybe we’d start looking at children differently.  What if our kids really became adults at 18!  (Many of our young men in the military do.)  I think I’d have looked forward to motherhood at a much earlier age if I saw the job as releasing them earlier.  BTW, my view at 42 is much different now than the view of children I held in my 20s.

Parenting is wearing people out b/c it takes so many years for them to become adults…. if they ever do.  I know we’re always parents, but to have an immature son/daughter in their mid 20s has to be pure misery.   I want to be the future parent of an adult.  As a society we’ve gotten ourselves into this mess.

One silver lining to this entire economic / political mess that we’re in is that values may be realigned.  If we take families back  home and to the basics, then maybe we’ll focus more on training our kids to be assets instead of liabilities.     We may no longer qualify for the car loan to get “Jimmy” a new car at 16.  Or maybe we don’t do limos for prom anymore which is absurd in my mind.  Maybe girls don’t get solar nails before they can pay for them on their own.

Instead, mayby girls learn to cook.  Maybe Jimmy mows the grass instead of a lawn service.  They wash and put away their clothes.  And they go next door to help out the older couple… at NO CHARGE.

Yes, there may be a silver lining to economic hardship in this country.  I don’t wish for economic / political hardship but am trying to watch for where God could be changing our values back to His.  Children are a blessing from God when we do it His way.

Stand up to “The UN Convention On the Rights of the Child”

I’m very concerned about our government ratifying “The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.”   This is a big deal but with so much going on it is not getting much press.  Our society can only absorb so much bad stuff at once, which is why I’m concerned they’ll try to get this done ASAP.  I wrote my congresswoman and senators today online.  I used their comment form.  They each require you choose a topic in their dropdown box.  None of them had a topic for “family rights” or “parental rights” or even anything close.  It shows is it not on their radar… and this is democrats and republicans.

Most ofter countries have ratified this treaty.  It would be worse for us if our country ratified this treaty b/c of the Supremacy Clause.   “The Supremacy Clause is a clause in the United States Constitution, article VI, paragraph 2. The clause establishes the Constitution, Federal Statutes, and U.S. treaties as “the supreme law of the land.” The text establishes these as the highest form of law in the American legal system, mandating that state judges uphold them, even if state laws or constitutions conflict.”

This means that a treaty trumps local law.  In many other countries, treaties don’t have this much power so when they ratify a treaty it does not carry as much weight as it does in the USA.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child puts the gov’t over the children and removes parental authority.  It is one more step to family erosion in this country.  Even you if don’t have kids, even if you can’t stand “snotty nosed kids”, etc.  this will impact you.  If children are raised with the governments morals, these children will one day be the adults working in your nursing home, hospital, raising your food, working in your bank, etc.

If you agree this is terrible, contact your Congress reps/senate and let them know where you stand.  And please post a comment here so we’ll know others are standing up on this issue.

You can read more about this at:  parentalrights.org.  Or you can listen to this broadcast from Generations Radio.

The Greatest Threat to Family Freedoms

” The UN Convention On the Rights of the Child.

With the changing political climate in DC, do we have what it takes to face off the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child with its draconian statist agenda? Parents incarcerated for spanking? Schools forbidden to teach from a Christian perspective anywhere in America?

It is the most egregious attack on family freedoms and national sovereignty in our lifetimes, and it is gaining momentum. If you are a parent or plan to be one sometime in the future, you need to listen to this interview with Michael Farris, Chairman of Home School Legal Defense Association.”

Eat Well but Spend Less / Teaching kids not to be picky eaters

Today my friend Meredith told me about this article by Dorothy Ainsworth on eating well for less.  Good article.  I think in these times many people will have to get back to the basics of food, which is actually a healthier lifestyle.  I’m trying to incorporate beans and other whole foods into our diet as much as possible.  Processed foods are making us sick and one day may be outrageously  expensive.

We really need to teach our kids to love this type food instead of chicken nuggets and chips.  Saturday we went to a group dinner for several couples.   We were the only couple with kids and our host kindly asked if he should have anything special for the kids to eat.  I asked him not to have anything special because our children need to learn to eat what the adults eat.  Granted, if it was a sushi party I’d bring something special.  But my point is that we cater to our children’s eating desires and create food monsters.  I’m trying to undo so much of this.  We’re making progress, but it has not been easy.  Teaching the girls to eat what is served will be a good life skill for their future.

http://www.dorothyainsworth.com/eat/well.html

The girl who cried wolf

Today Shea (4 years old) came down the stairs with her hand over her mouth like she was about to (you know).  A stomach virus has been going around so I thought… here we go.  I rush her to the toilet and tell her to let it happen there.  She took her hand off her mouth and showed me a big grin and said “just joking.”

At 4, they start finding their sense of humor so I couldn’t get on to her.  She’s also been telling us a ton of knock/knock jokes…  they always end with “get it???”  Bethany and Maggie make up at least a joke a day, so she’s trying to keep up.

Owing your kids money…

Last night Shea took a walk with Dave.  She fell and skinned her knee.  My sensitive husband offered her a dollar to quit crying.  When they got home he gave her monop0ly money and she refused:  “That is not real.  I want real money!”  Not bad for a 4 year old.  Now Dave is in debt. 

I also owe Maggie $14.  I can’t remember why.  Bethany has stopped lending me money because she says I’m not credit worthy.  Now Maggie understands why. 

Daily dialogue with a 4 year old

Mom:  You were born in August.

Shea:  No, I was born in China.

Mom:  You are getting a haircut today.

Shea:  I want my hair cut long.

Mom:  Go brush your teeth.

Shea:  I did that yesterday.

Mom:  Stop chasing the dog.

Shea:  I’m not chasing the dog, I’m on a safari.

Mom:  I think it is time for you to watch T.V.

Shea:  T.V. is bad for my brain.

Mom:  Bethany is cleaning out the toys in the gameroom and your room.

Shea:  If she doesn’t stop that we’ll have to get different older kids.

can you name ….

Today Bethany and I were talking about the show John and Kate plus 8.  Bethany could name all the kids plus the parents.

Then I asked her to name the 12 disciples.  Neither of us could remember every one.  Can you?

If not, can you name all the kids from the brady bunch?  Can you list all the reindeer?  Can you name 12 drink combos from Starbucks?  I was convicted!

Here are the 12…

The original twelve disciples / apostles are listed in Matthew 10:2-4, “These are the names of the twelve apostles: first, Simon (who is called Peter) and his brother Andrew; James son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus; Simon the Zealot and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Him.”

Good News! The Bible Bee

Today on FamilyLife, they had a broadcast about a new Bible Bee.  This is the most innovative thing (within the Christian community) I’ve heard about in a while.

We’re in an age where less than 10% of Christian kids believe in absolute truth.  One reason is that they don’t know their Bible.  The scripture is not written in their hearts and minds.  Instead of spending time in the Word with our kids, we’re investing our time into other stuff:  TV, Video games, sports, school homework or just being busy doing other stuff.  Or many Christians parents don’t teach their children b/c they let Sunday School take care of that.  One hour a week in Sunday School is not cutting it.  If our culture is going to change for the better, we must teach our children God’s word in our homes.

I hope this Bible Bee takes off.  It is a national competition and the finals will be held in Washington D.C.  I didn’t see a Houston location on the map and am calling today to see if there is one being processed.   If not, I’ll ask my church to host a local bee in September 09.    The deadline for signing up to host is January 31st.  Then to register your child, sometime mid February.

See their site for details:  http://www.biblebee.org/

Good post on being home with the kids

My friend sent me this and I thought it so good that I wanted to pass along to my mom friends who are home full time with little ones right now.    Sometimes the days feel like years and the years feel like days.  Overall, it is going by way too fast.  Bethany turns 10 this week!

http://makinghome.blogspot.com/2008/12/combating-you-should-get-out-of-house.html

Being busy while you learn – alternative ways to listen

I have to complete 15 hours of continuing legal education each year to keep my attorney license.  I absolutely HATE CLE.  It is sooooo boring.  It is due each year at the end of November, so I’ve been needing to get it done.

I was never a good at sitting still and listening.  It is amazing I went to law school b/c I had to spend so many hours sitting in a classroom.  I don’t even like going to the movie b/c I have to sit still too long.  I rarely sit down and watch TV for longer than 15 minutes.

To ease the pain of listening to online CLE classes, today I set my computer up in my closet and cleaned out clothes while I listened to these lectures.  That is double boring.  But both needed to be done and I knocked out two things at once.  And I actually learned more b/c I was moving around while listening.  I retain more if I’m busy while learning.

I can see this trait in my daughters also, especially Maggie.  Since we homeschool, I let her get a drawing pad and do her art assignment while she listens to a lecture on her laptop.  She doesn’t look like she is paying attention, but I’ll quiz her and am amazed what she learned.  If I made her sit up and have her eyes on the lecturer, she would zone out and not listen.

For Christmas, the girls are getting a large trampoline for outside and a smaller exercise on for inside.  I’m going to try doing school while they are jumping.  We’ll knock out PE and math flashcards at the same time!

This has also been a factor in my spiritual growth.  I’ve started having my quiet time in the morning while I put on my makeup.  I tried getting in a chair with a cup of coffee and being “still” with the Lord.   I still do it sometimes, but get more out of my new way of spending time in the Word.  Now I listen to online Bible reading, sermons, etc. every morning while drinking coffee and getting ready.  It works great.  It is how I think.  It doesn’t fit the mold of what many in the church advocate, but I’m getting more out of my time than I was before.

My point today is that we learn differently.  If you are a person (or have a child) who does not do well sitting still, try learning other ways.  With technology today, the sky is the limit.