Are children assets or liabilities?

We’re in a weird place in the world.  It is a very exciting time to be alive… and a scary time to be alive.  These time are impacting the way we view society and families… especially decisions about if/when/how many children.  Yesterday I had a moment that caused me to think about how we view children so differently than a couple of generations (or more) ago.

Many people in our society view children as a liability.  I can see why.  I thought this way for years and almost didn’t have any children b/c I didn’t like the risk/reward statistics.  One reason we view children as liabilities is b/c parents are caring and supporting for offspring until the kids are in their early 20s…. if they are lucky.  And many support their children until they die and leave their estate for their children to “manage”.    We are also relying on the gov’t to take care of mom/pop through social insecurity and medi-can’t-care, so adults no longer count on children to provide their support in old age.

We also live in a time where many children do not help around the house and will not give back as adults.  It begins with the parents because many of the household duties are outsourced today.  When we both worked, we had a maid, yard guy, dry cleaner and got meals that didn’t require much prep or cleanup.  And we left early in the morning and didn’t return until the evening.  The last thing either of us wanted was to direct children in “chores” after we’d worked all day.  Time constraints made that very impractical.  Most parents in this mode love their children tremendously (as I did), but you live the life you’re in at the moment.  It is hard.

Even households where one parent is home can also be too busy to get children involved in household responsibilities.  If you’re running to this and that multiple times a week, household stuff tends to take a back seat.  And these kids don’t contribute b/c they are not at home much either.

Yesterday the house was a mess and I was trying to clean the downstairs … got overwhelmed.  We’d been running around all week and were much busier than usual.  The girls were watching TV and I was working.  Bad idea.  I called them down and we all got to work.  They really helped me get the house in shape.  And as I thought about it, the more I invest in training them to take ownership in our home… the more of an asset they become.  I’ve known this fact for a long time, but get sidetracked implementing.

Instead, we (I’m guilty too) run around serving our children instead of teaching them responsibility.  We don’t make them eat what adults eat, we act as taxis way too much and provide too much electronic entertainment so we get a break from serving them more.  We’re (as a society…not you reading:) ) are  spoiling our next generation.  And many of those who are not spoiled are neglected.  Neglect also leads to children who do not become productive in society.

Years ago children grew up earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ran across the term “teenager” in the Bible.  Mary was probably about 15 when she had Jesus.  If our children contributed to the household at a younger age and matured earlier…. then maybe we’d start looking at children differently.  What if our kids really became adults at 18!  (Many of our young men in the military do.)  I think I’d have looked forward to motherhood at a much earlier age if I saw the job as releasing them earlier.  BTW, my view at 42 is much different now than the view of children I held in my 20s.

Parenting is wearing people out b/c it takes so many years for them to become adults…. if they ever do.  I know we’re always parents, but to have an immature son/daughter in their mid 20s has to be pure misery.   I want to be the future parent of an adult.  As a society we’ve gotten ourselves into this mess.

One silver lining to this entire economic / political mess that we’re in is that values may be realigned.  If we take families back  home and to the basics, then maybe we’ll focus more on training our kids to be assets instead of liabilities.     We may no longer qualify for the car loan to get “Jimmy” a new car at 16.  Or maybe we don’t do limos for prom anymore which is absurd in my mind.  Maybe girls don’t get solar nails before they can pay for them on their own.

Instead, mayby girls learn to cook.  Maybe Jimmy mows the grass instead of a lawn service.  They wash and put away their clothes.  And they go next door to help out the older couple… at NO CHARGE.

Yes, there may be a silver lining to economic hardship in this country.  I don’t wish for economic / political hardship but am trying to watch for where God could be changing our values back to His.  Children are a blessing from God when we do it His way.

We’re stocked on laundry detergent

Yesterday I posted about the good deal on Sear’s Laundry Detergent.  We got each box for $12 including tax (when you factor the $5 off $50 internet deal).  The box advertises 180 loads.  If we get this many loads out of the box, that makes it $.07 a load.  The guys at Sears gave Dave a hard time.  They were trying to figure out who would buy this much detergent.  They speculated it was a laundry service.  We also showed up on Sear’s fraud alert!

I sure hope we like it.  You’ll get a laugh with the visual of how much we purchased…   5 of these are for my mom.  My sister, Cindy, bought 10 boxes that are not shown.  Jill…. it is not to late.  It also works on HE machines.

Cleaning bottles multiplying like rabbits

The bottles under my sink were stressing me out.  I had a cleaning for this/that and something else.  But I couldn’t ever get to these, so I used the same cleaners all the time.  This week I pulled them all out and put away the ones I couldn’t get to.  I’m going to use up a couple of cleaners, then pull the others out.  I had too many half used bottles and the area under our sink was a disaster area.  And the fire extinguisher was pushed to the back.  I would have had to declutter real quick in the event of a kitchen fire!  I pulled it all out and lined these shelf, and put back a selected few.  Check this out…

Back to spring cleaning – book overwhelm

Last week I did make a little progress on my book organization, even though I was fuming about the stimulus package.  I started with the end of our hall.  see original pic here.  I used to have a bookshelf there crammed with books and it stressed me out.. all the clutter.  This is much nicer. The pic turned out dark, but trust me it looks nice.

I moved the bookshelf to the game room and will try to consolidate most our books in this room.  I also organized these books, putting the children books at the bottom:

I still have a long way to go.  I went through my house to see exactly where I had “placed”  all the books and wasn’t aware I had them in so many places.  You’ll get a laugh at this…  the guys with the white jacket will be showing up soon.  I had so many pics, I didn’t include them all.  But this will give you an idea of my “issue”.  I’m sure there’s a name for this disorder, like the people who have 100 cats living in their house.  If you came into our house, you really wouldn’t see all this.  The main living areas are very organized.  So if you see someone who looks like they have it all together, they may just have piles of books tucked away EVERYWHERE.

Spring Cleaning

We moved into our house about 1.5 years ago.  Since then, we’ve been continually “moving in.”  I have cleaned out books more than once, but still have too many.  I have them everywhere and need to organize and consolidate into one spot.   If you have a problem, I have a book.  I am a book junkie!  And homeschooling has given me a reason to feed this habit.  This is a pic of just one of our bookshelves.  I’m in the process of cleaning these out and moving this shelf.  When I”m finished, I’ll show the end result.  It always feels good to get a project like this finished (especially if I’ve cleaned out Dave’s stuff:) ).  If you don’t keep up with clutter on a regular basis, the months turn into years and pretty soon it is just a dust pile.  When I look at the price per sq foot of a home, I have to think… is this the best use of this space?  If not, then it may be like a nickel controlling a dime.   Clutter is expensive when you factor the cost to clutter:  price/sq foot, electricity to a/c or heat the clutter, property tax, and visual stress.

I made laundry soap! one step away from dependence on proctor/gamble

This afternoon, I made my first batch of liquid laundry soup - see here for directions.  It made three gallons for about $2.00 and I used 1/2 cup for one load.  I’m also making my own dishwater detergent using one part borax and one part super washing soda.  They key is to use lots of vinegar in your rinse cycles so you don’t have clouds on your glass.  My first try with homemade detergent came with lots of clouds.

I like making my own stuff for three reasons:

1. saves money
2. reduces the amount of plastic we’re sending to the recycle center
3. gets our family one small step away from being dependent on large corporations

Regarding #3, I realize that I am still buying the ingredients from a corporation.  But it is different.  I’m using less product, less packaging and spending less money.  I’m not anti corporation.  I worked for a major for 17 years and Dave is with a corporation.  I appreciate what they do for our country.   They pay billions in taxes and provide jobs.  They also do many things more efficiently than smaller organizations.  I will not be making our own pencils anytime soon.

But I also see a downside to the abundance of consumer products.  We’ve become so dependent on corporations supplying us disposable and ready made items we are losing the art of making things ourselves.  Just 60 years ago (maybe less) there was no disposable diaper, disposable razor, disposable toilet wand, disposable crock pot liner, disposable counter wipes, disposable face wipes, and the list goes on.  Consumers have driven these products and they’ve made our lives easier.  But I think we’ve also lost something in this consumer driven society.  We’re not home as much making stuff on our own.  This is good family time – Shea (my 4 year old helper) loved making detergent today.  About 25 years ago I spent time at the volunteer fire department quilting with our senior ladies.  We drank coffee, talked and laughed.  We didn’t run to Bed, Bath and Beyond with our 20% coupon to buy a quilt and matching pillow.

And I think making things is a good use of my time.  Dave works really hard so I can be home.  I need to be careful with our money because the less I spend, the less he has to earn.  I can spend time at home or running the roads.  Some running the roads is necessary, but I don’t need to spend hours browsing in stores for stuff I don’t need.  Making things at home also sets a good example for our girls.

We Evacuated

Most people evacuate before a hurricane hits.  We waited a week and couldn’t take it anymore without electricity.  We will not have it until Thursday at the earliest.  I hope this is wrong and it happens sooner, but our area was hit really hard with trees.  We’re at my parent’s lake house and so glad to have electricity.  Dave stayed at the house with the dogs b/c he goes back to work on Monday.  He went into the office today to try to catch up.

We didn’t have any hurricane damage to our house, but there was a tornado inside.  No, 5 tornadoes on and off for 7 days:  4 girls and one guy.  Plus two other storms called Phoenix and Rowdy.   Our house is a disaster area and everyone who knows me will understand I don’t take it well.  I tried calling FEMA to complain but got voice mail jail.  I really wanted FEMA to send someone to clean my house while they hand delivered ice and MREs. 

It is really hard to keep a house with no electricity.  You can’t vacuum and there is no light in the closets.  So you pull stuff out of the closet and never put it back.  After a week, things start piling up.  Any dishes that were in the washer waiting start to smell.  You have to leave the refrig doors open and it is too dark to really clean the restrooms.  And you have lots of trash b/c of paper plates and convenience food. 

And we had the windows open b/c of the heat.  We live in an area with lots of construction so there is dirt in the air.  We should wear masks outside.  The dirt blew into the house, so now there is a layer of dirt on all the piles of stuff. 

And dogs and kids start smelling (yes, adults too) when there is no a/c.  So our house needs lots of airfreshner. 

Have I whined enough???  I’m not a big whiner…just ask Dave.  Well, maybe you shouldn’t.  Good news is that I have big hair today!  I had a blow dryer and curling iron this morning.  It really improved my mood.

Actually, I should not be whining.  Our family and friends have been great.  I can’t even list what everyone did and offered to do.  Times like these really get your priorities in order when it comes to community.  Our country is suffering b/c people are too busy to invest in others’ lives.  Those relationships really are priceless when you have needs. 

I have no problem doing for other people but I have more trouble taking help.  It is a pride thing.  But taking help this past week really made life easier.  When we refuse to let others help us, we are denying them the blessing of serving God through being His hands and feet.  So this week plenty of people were blessed through serving our family.

We look forward to getting back to a normal life, but until then things are much better at the lake.  The kids are playing outside on bikes and swings.  We can’t do that in our neighborhood, so they really appreciate the freedom.  I’m also much more relaxed.  It is so pretty here and I’m enjoying hearing the birds and seeing the flowers.  Those little things in life.

Housekeeping – Laundry

This is what happens when laundry is not folded for three days. Sometimes with laundry I feel like Lucy during that old episode where she is packaging chocolate from the conveyor belt! If you don’t watch Lucy, go back want watch a few shows. Laughter is good for the soul and Lucy is clean humor.

We have our second exchange student arriving on Thursday, so I want the house to be in order for his arrival. His addition will bring the kid count to 5, do I need order in our home. And my husband LOVES a tidy house. This week I’m trying to keep up rather than let things pile up. I folded the laundry and picked up from the cleaners. Now I need to just keep things running…

See Handprints on the Wall for other posts on organizing.

Anti-Procrastination Day – Recycling

Recycling is inconvenient and messy. I have to separate trash, load it in my minivan and take it to a special place. But when I look at how much garbage we have, I’m glad we’re not filling up more landfills.

Al Gore wants me to do this to minimize my carbon footprint. However, as a Christian, I need to be the best steward of this earth that I can be. The liberals have really taken this topic and made it about “mother earth”. Christians should also be in this discussion, but in a different way. We are to manage “God’s Creation”.