Are children assets or liabilities?

We’re in a weird place in the world.  It is a very exciting time to be alive… and a scary time to be alive.  These time are impacting the way we view society and families… especially decisions about if/when/how many children.  Yesterday I had a moment that caused me to think about how we view children so differently than a couple of generations (or more) ago.

Many people in our society view children as a liability.  I can see why.  I thought this way for years and almost didn’t have any children b/c I didn’t like the risk/reward statistics.  One reason we view children as liabilities is b/c parents are caring and supporting for offspring until the kids are in their early 20s…. if they are lucky.  And many support their children until they die and leave their estate for their children to “manage”.    We are also relying on the gov’t to take care of mom/pop through social insecurity and medi-can’t-care, so adults no longer count on children to provide their support in old age.

We also live in a time where many children do not help around the house and will not give back as adults.  It begins with the parents because many of the household duties are outsourced today.  When we both worked, we had a maid, yard guy, dry cleaner and got meals that didn’t require much prep or cleanup.  And we left early in the morning and didn’t return until the evening.  The last thing either of us wanted was to direct children in “chores” after we’d worked all day.  Time constraints made that very impractical.  Most parents in this mode love their children tremendously (as I did), but you live the life you’re in at the moment.  It is hard.

Even households where one parent is home can also be too busy to get children involved in household responsibilities.  If you’re running to this and that multiple times a week, household stuff tends to take a back seat.  And these kids don’t contribute b/c they are not at home much either.

Yesterday the house was a mess and I was trying to clean the downstairs … got overwhelmed.  We’d been running around all week and were much busier than usual.  The girls were watching TV and I was working.  Bad idea.  I called them down and we all got to work.  They really helped me get the house in shape.  And as I thought about it, the more I invest in training them to take ownership in our home… the more of an asset they become.  I’ve known this fact for a long time, but get sidetracked implementing.

Instead, we (I’m guilty too) run around serving our children instead of teaching them responsibility.  We don’t make them eat what adults eat, we act as taxis way too much and provide too much electronic entertainment so we get a break from serving them more.  We’re (as a society…not you reading:) ) are  spoiling our next generation.  And many of those who are not spoiled are neglected.  Neglect also leads to children who do not become productive in society.

Years ago children grew up earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ran across the term “teenager” in the Bible.  Mary was probably about 15 when she had Jesus.  If our children contributed to the household at a younger age and matured earlier…. then maybe we’d start looking at children differently.  What if our kids really became adults at 18!  (Many of our young men in the military do.)  I think I’d have looked forward to motherhood at a much earlier age if I saw the job as releasing them earlier.  BTW, my view at 42 is much different now than the view of children I held in my 20s.

Parenting is wearing people out b/c it takes so many years for them to become adults…. if they ever do.  I know we’re always parents, but to have an immature son/daughter in their mid 20s has to be pure misery.   I want to be the future parent of an adult.  As a society we’ve gotten ourselves into this mess.

One silver lining to this entire economic / political mess that we’re in is that values may be realigned.  If we take families back  home and to the basics, then maybe we’ll focus more on training our kids to be assets instead of liabilities.     We may no longer qualify for the car loan to get “Jimmy” a new car at 16.  Or maybe we don’t do limos for prom anymore which is absurd in my mind.  Maybe girls don’t get solar nails before they can pay for them on their own.

Instead, mayby girls learn to cook.  Maybe Jimmy mows the grass instead of a lawn service.  They wash and put away their clothes.  And they go next door to help out the older couple… at NO CHARGE.

Yes, there may be a silver lining to economic hardship in this country.  I don’t wish for economic / political hardship but am trying to watch for where God could be changing our values back to His.  Children are a blessing from God when we do it His way.

Adoptions Declining

I’ve been wondering if domestic and international adoptions are declining.  I found this article in the Washington post describing the decline of international.   I have presumed the decline because of economics.  It is extremely expensive adopting a child either here or abroad.  However, if you go through our gov’t social services, I understand the cost is much less.  In a magazine today I read there are 143 worldwide orphans.  That is almost 1/2 the population of the United States.  My brain can’t comprehend that number and the suffering of these children.

4 years ago we adopted our third child who was from China.  We had 2 biological children and opted to adopt for our 3rd.   It is one of the best decisions Dave and I have ever made.  This child has changed our family for the better, as did our first two children.  She is our daughter just as much as her older sisters.   She is so smart and has so much potential.   She makes people smile.  Just this week she was jabbering away to me while sitting in the grocery cart and a lady I didn’t know came up to me and commented “how adorable.”  It was nice to have the reminder because I get busy and miss the “how adorable” moments when I’m keeping an eye on three kids, coordinating coupons and hoping the little one doesn’t get out of her belt land on the floor.

We considered adopting again.  Once you get the adoption bug, you want to adopt every kid you hear about.  Last summer we hosted a pre-teen girl from Ukraine in a summer camp program.  Under this program, older kids are brought to the USA for 3 weeks and live with the host family.  It gives them a chance to experience family life in America.  It also gives potential adoptive families a chance to see how the older child fits into the family dynamics.  It did not work out with the girl we hosted – she didn’t want to be adopted for reasons we understood.   I learned a lot from this experience and loved seeing our girls open their hearts/home to this child.

The older kids in Ukraine (and elsewhere) have a hard time getting placed.  If they don’t have a completed adoption by age 16 their life takes a dramatic turn.  I’m not the expert, but from what I learned these kids graduate from the orphanages at age 16.  After leaving the orphange, most are on their own.  After that many die before age 18.   Others pursue terrible jobs just to survive.

In the magazine I was reading today – Worldwide Challenge – by Campus Crusade for Christ they were taking about how tough it is to “graduate” from foster care in the USA.  I can’t imagine being an 18 year old girl and being on my own.  These young adults really need a family for support.

As times get tougher with global economic problems, I think we’ll see a larger worldwide orphan problem.  It is one of the many challenges we face as a society in the coming times.

Being Joyful in an Uncertain Time

I’m pretty open about my view of the future.  The world is changing at breakneck speed.   This video is another example of how the world we know it may not exist  in the not so distant future.  Many of the changes in our world are wonderful and we benefit from these enormously.  However, the potential for craziness and sudden destruction is also amplified.

When I’ve posted about Celente or other grim news, I get comments and emails from other moms who are seeing the same thing.  The problem is we hear so much about the problem and less about how to adjust to this changing world.

I watch current events and try to prepare to the extent I’m able.   I’m finding these two activities are adding to my life, not adding more fear.  Some would think a focus on these things would take away from day to day life, but for me it is not the case.

Rather, there has been joy.  The more I look at current events, the closer I see Jesus’ return.  We do not know the exact time, but we do know the season.  It appears to me that we are in that season.  What an exciting time to be alive.

I’m not saying I’m never down because I still do have days of fear.  But I’m also learning joy like I’ve never known.   I listen to guys like Glenn Beck and don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  That is more reason to enjoy today.

I’m finding joy in things I didn’t notice before.  When I go into the grocery stores and see the shelves stocked, I thank God.  Before Ike, I just took it for granted.  When I can sleep at night without fear, I’m thankful we live in a place where crime is not rampant.  I’m thankful I have a sewer system that works and clean water.  I’m really thankful for our doctors and medical care.  This may seem trite, but the growing uncertainty of tomorrow is causing me to rethink today.

I’m thankful we have income.  At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. We’ve had such wealth in this country that many of our poor are rich by world standards.   The thought of seeing massive poverty is a new idea for many of us.  I believe we will have less wealth in the future.  But maybe this will strengthen our values and change our priorities.  Mine are certainly being tweaked.

I’m trying to laugh and play more with my kiddos.  The other day I played with Shea on the trampoline instead of wiping the countertops one more time.   Or sit down with the girls and read a book together.

And most importantly, I’m also finding joy in being able to worship God and have a Bible.  I recently heard if you’re caught with a Bible in North Korea that three generations in your family is executed.   Christians all around the world are facing terrible persecution.   I’m so thankful I can freely share the Gospel with my children.

There is joy in today.  I am trying to get ready for tomorrow without missing the moment now.

One more thing… here are a couple podcasts that are on point with my thoughts today that you might find helpful.

Familylife broadcast: “In uncertain times, we need to focus on that which is certain – the Word of God. Dennis Rainey helps us find certainty in uncertain times and faith in time of fear, as he offers practical tips for preparing your home to withstand the current economic and cultural storm.”

Olive Tree  Ministries May 23 2nd hour broadcast: Jerry Robinson is Jan’s guest. He is a World Net Daily columnist and author of the new book, “Bankruptcy of our Nation: 12 Key Strategies for Protecting Your Finances in these Uncertain Times.” Robinson says we are entering the most grave period of financial instability in history. He explains the real reason for the bailouts, why the dollar is doomed and what that means, the forthcoming hyper-inflationary period and how that compares to the Weimar Republic in the 1920s, and much more. Jan and Jerry also go over the 12 key strategies for your protection.

There’s also an excellent women’s Bible study in Houston teaching on this subject.  You can call the church and get CDs at little or no cost. Lois McCall is teaching “God’s Wisdom for Today’s Woman.”  I went to the first class today and it was excellent.  She showed the video at the top of this blog.

What does it mean to be a Survivalist???

Most of my friends and some of my family already think I’m weird, so I don’t have much to lose with this post.  In fact, some of my friends have decided they want to be “weird” too.  Sometimes you have thoughts about life that are not the norm.  One of mine is that of a “survivalist”.  There are varying degrees of this mentality.  I’m probably somewhere in the middle.   For example, we do not have a compost toilet, but I did get face filter masks that I found on clearance at HEB  (just in case the bird flu hits:) ).  I can hear you laughing….

I’ve been debating whether to share this with you, but it is just so good I’m willing to go for it.  There is a podcast I’ve been listening to:  http://www.thesurvivalpodcast.com/.  I like this guy b/c he doesn’t tell you what to do, but gives his opinion about being prepared and you can take it to whatever degree works for your family.  I also like his stance on what are the highest risks we might face – he is one of the more realistic “survivalists” I’ve ran across.  For example,  he suggests have a higher chance of facing a job loss than the bird flu, and need to prioritize our preps accordingly.  But preparing for the first might also help you with the latter.

The survivalist mentality is not about living in fear that something might happen.  It is actually the opposite.  It is living knowing you’ve done your best to prepare your family for uncertainities in life.  No different than putting money into your 401K, life insurance or other “normal” things our society does to prepare for the future.

God’s Wrath on America

This is not a fun subject and very unpopular even in many Christian communities.  We love the health / wealth sermons, but hate the wrath sermons.  However, God has never allowed a group of people who behave as our country is behaving to continue.  He gives them over to their sin.  I believe we are in a time of God’s wrath.

So what do Christians do?  My friend just sent me this article by David Wilkerson which talks about the practical and the spiritual.  I think it is an excellent read, but not fun.  It does have an uplifting message, however, in the face of possible wrath.

“I will say to my soul: No need to run…no need to hide. This is God’s righteous work. I will behold our Lord on his throne, with his eye of tender, loving kindness watching over every step I take—trusting that he will deliver his people even through floods, fires, calamities, tests, trials of all kinds.”  This is excellent advice.

He also recommends:  “First, I give you a practical word I received for my own direction. If possible lay in store a thirty-day supply of non-perishable food, toiletries and other essentials. In major cities, grocery stores are emptied in an hour at the sign of an impending disaster.”  I saw how fast our stores were emptied during Ike.  People were not prepared.  If we have a major unexpected disaster, don’t count on the grocery store.

This is not meant to be doom / gloom, but to be realistic about what might be happening in our country.  I AM NOT a prophet.  God could have mercy on us and withhold His wrath.  He is God and I am not.  But when I look at history, I see a trend.  In this case, the trend is not our country’s friend.  The good new is that it may turn many who are relying on their wealth and country to their knees.  One day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess.  What a blessing if more choose to do it on this side of eternity.

Recession proof your pantry and food

I’ve been thinking about writing on this, but today I read Barbi’s post and she did an excellent job covering this topic.

I get a ton of searches each day with people searching under the term ” 2009 depression ” since I posted on Gerald Celente’s 2009 Depression predictions.  Folks are trying to figure out how to survive during possible tougher times.  And it is stressful thinking about this.  I’ve written before that we’ll see domestic violence and suicide increase as the economic stresses increase.  We all cope in different ways.  Each time the Dow drops more, I react by purchasing more beans and rice.  Dave and I were laughing about it last night.  This week I bought 3 bags of rice and 2 bags of beans!  It makes me feel better.

It also makes me feel better reading God’s word.  He told us what to expect during these times.  We know how this all ends.  One day we’ll look back and think what a cool time to serve God that was.  But while you’re in it you can get overwhelmed with the thought of caring for little ones in unpredictable times.  Since Adam/Eve, times have been uncertain for people.  But for us, it is now and screaming in the news every day.

I am not an economist and cannot tell you what to do with investments.  I don’t know if taking money out of a 401K to buy gold is the right decision.  I do know that one way to diversify your portfolio is to stock your pantry.  It is a no lose investment.  If you stock your pantry with stuff that doesn’t expire in the near future, then you have a fairly solid investment.  You can lose any investment and this one is also vulnerable with fire, rodents, theft, etc.  But I think these risks are small compared to the banking and stock risks we’re witnessing.

So check out Barbi’s write-up on recession proofing your pantry.  These ideas are common sense.

Living off the Grid

Check out this site:  http://www.coyotecottage.com/why/why.htm.  This couple built a 500 sq foot rustic cabin in Washington State and are living off the grid.  I’ve never known a person to actually do this but the concept FASCINATES me.  I would love not to be tied to a utility company and still have power. They don’t use much water, and I’d have a hard time getting adjusted to that.  I run the dishwasher at least twice a day and our family of five has lots of flushes.

I love their cabin and how they didn’t do fancy trim.  It is very functional.  The older I get, the more appealing that becomes.  When I first got married, I was all into china, crystal and the niceties of life.  Maybe it will swing back around, but now I appreciate the simple.  That came after chasing the pot of gold and burnout.  This couple only has a cell phone bill, car ins and property tax.  I wonder what they do about health ins?

I really love their bedroom and the windows looking out onto the mountains.  You can really see God’s hand in this type of nature.  It is harder to see God’s beauty in concrete, but it is still there if we look.  Back to the cabin… I cannot imagine seeing stars at night.  What a concept.   Yes, I have cabin envy.  I tried talking Dave into a double wide in Lufkin Texas, but he looked at me like I had two noses on my face.  This morning I suggested a 500 sq ft rustic cabin.  Hmmm.

Ryan, there is an apple orchard for sale down the road from this place.  There are lots of unreached people groups on Washington State.  I know Julie would love to live off the grid.  Especially the part where you use the potty bucket outside!

I would love to live like this for a few months.  I don’t know how I’d do long term, but it sounds like a really nice break from the city.  I think I’d miss being around people.  But you’d be very busy just doing everyday life.  But I’m in the city and need to bloom where I’m planted.  Even so, it doesn’t hurt to long for the stars every now and then.

Enjoy!

Where our nation is headed

On November 22nd I posted about where the Church is in our world and talked about where our culture is headed.  I’m amazed at the speed things are changing.  Here’s a segment of what I said:

“Unless God steps in and brings revival, it looks like we’re headed to this:
Abortion on demand anytime/anywhere
No traditional marriage
Hate speech punished (no Bible)
Gov’t health care:  (death with dignity for elderly)
No parent rights:  (gov’t owns the kids)
Global world management:  (United Nations global tax, money system and control of our military)
Food rationing:  The USA needs to be punished for raping the world
Energy rationing:  Extreme taxes on gasoline
Extreme deception”

Abortion:  We’re now paying for international abortions.  It was one of the first things our new president ordered.  I predict partial birth abortion will make a comeback.

No Traditional marriage:  As states move to non-traditional marriage – we’ll see Adam/Eve style marriage change.  The northeast part of the country is leading the effort to make this change in our country.

Hate speech – Our new president wants to make special punishment for hate speech.  It may soon be illegal for certain parts of the Bible to be preached because it could be deemed at “hateful” by the courts.

Gov’t health care – this is one that is moving the fastest.  In the stimulus bill, there is a new secretary for health care.  They plan to put all our heath records on an electronic system.  Then they will ration health care depending on a cost/benefit ratio.  You may not be eligible for a treatment even if you have the cash to pay for the service.  Not surprising.  We started with abortion and are moving to the elderly.

No parents rights:  Senator Boxer Asks State Department to Expedite the U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child.  This means we give parental authority to the U.N.  That is terrible.

Global World Management:  Wow, this one is going at the speed of light.  With all the economies collapsing, the stage is being set for a global world currency and management. I think the country is also moving toward giving up sovereignty .  Obama’s first interview was to Muslims.   It had an apologetic tone.   I think we’ll give the UN more power through treaties and other agreements that American Citizens will never have the chance to stop.

Food rationing:  I think the stimulus package will cause inflation and food prices will rise.  Then the gov’t will step in and save the day with a new food system.  We’ve been importing too much food.  Our local farmers have been disappearing.  It takes too much of our resources to move food around and if this distribution breaks, we’re in trouble.

Energy rationing:  We’re already seeing this.  An elderly man died in the ice storm b/c his power was cut off.  If you can’t pay, you will not have power.  And I think the dip in oil prices is temporary.   I think energy prices will rise.  People won’t have enough money for their utility bills.

All this may sound doom/gloom, but I think I’m being realistic.  We may not have the ability to change the direction this train is headed, but our families and churches need to prepare to address needs that will arise in the event these things continue.

Food Storage – Ethical Issues and reasons to store

Different people have different interests.  Some like scrapbooking, some like sports, some like shopping, painting, etc.

One of my interests is considered a little weird.  I like food storage.  There, I admitted it and am out of my food storage closet.  Some people think I’m strange and some of my Christian friends think I have a lack of faith that God will provide for me during tough times.

I’ve thought about this and don’t want to fall into the lack of faith area.  I’m to a point where I think this is fine.  I know I can’t protect myself against every situation or every emergency.  My life is in God’s hands.

That does not mean I can’t plan ahead.  When Ike hit in Houston, I fed my street from our outdoor grill more than one night with meat thawing from our freezer.  I was not worried about getting in a FEMA line for cardboard MREs.  Instead, there was a line at my grill and we had a wonderful time hanging out with neighbors we rarely see.

Back to food storage….  how is food stoarge any different than saving money?  Some people collect stuff and that is OK in this culture.  You can have a house full of nic/nacs but if you have 100 rolls of TP, then you’re strange.

Food storage also comes in handy during a job loss or illness.  I love knowing that I could skip going to the grocery store if my time was needed elsewhere.  And I know that my family would continue to have healthy nutrition.

I also use my food storage on a regular basis.  If we hit a time where you can’t run to McDonalds or eat processed foods, my family will not have to make a huge transition to a different diet.  We’re already eating whole grains and beans as a regular part of our diet.  This is a healthier way to eat too, versus a frozen pizza that costs $5+ and feeds only 2 adults.

We’re also looking at a huge stimulus package to be voted on this week.  If this goes, I think we’re headed to serious inflation.  The only way we can pay for this debt is to print money.  Our debtors will get uneasy with this and start pulling out of Tbills, then things start getting interesting.  I think a stockpile of food with this economic situation is one of the smartest investments a family could make right now.

I’m not saying there are no ethical issues with food storage.  If we hoard a product during a time of need, then that is an issue.  For example, if someone cleared out Krogers of batteries and bottled water right before a Hurricane, that is wrong.  If you want to stock up on batteries and water right now, then go for it.

If you want to read more, this is an excellent article on the ethical issues surrounding food storage… http://sharonastyk.com/2008/07/22/is-this-hoarding-the-ethics-of-storage/.

I’m boycotting Valentines Day

I’m boycotting Valentines day.  Dave doesn’t know yet, but I don’t think he’ll mind.  Each year this “holiday” rolls around and I start hearing all the ads for send your woman flowers, or PJs or a Teddygram.

When I was single I felt pressure on this day to have a romantic date with a boyfriend (you could not be without a boyfriend on Feb 14th, which is why there are so many breakups on the 15th!)  And now that I’m married there is pressure from those selling something to “show your love.”

What about showing our love on a daily basis?  Why do I need some marketing firm telling me when to go out on a date and get a dozen roses?  I’m also thinking this about Mother’s day and Father’s day.  Who created these???

I celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  There are also other dates I appreciate remembering such as veterans day.  But some of these other dates are just pumped up to be another mechanism to get our money.   We can’t even get our decor put up from one holiday before another is in our face.

I’m all for honoring my husband, my parents, my children and friends.  I prefer, however, to show them I care because it is on my heart… not because Hallmark says this day is the day to honor such/in/such person in your life.  Each day is the day!