Sin in Coupon and Frugal Grocery Shopping

Each of us struggles with different sin.  Mine has changed at the different stages of life.  Teenage years and early 20s it was…. well that would be TMI.  Mid 20s to mid 30s it was materialism and pride in my career.

When I left my career, I hit homemaking with the same fervor I had other parts of my life.  When I go for something, I’m one of those people who give it my all.  Dave gave me a grocery challenge to see if we could spend $75 a week for groceries, household and diapers.  I started doing the grocery game and became a very accomplished coupon shopper.

There is nothing sinful with using coupons.  Rather, it can be very Godly in helping manage the resources you have been given.  But like anything good, humans can pervert a good thing into a sinful thing.  I became obsessed with seeing well over 50% savings on my receipt.  So much so that I began using coupons in a sinful way.  And like any sin, I justified my sin.

For example, if a coupon said $1 off 2 items, then I’d give the checkers two of these coupons for 2 items.  Many times their scanner would take both, so I got $2 off 2 – double the amount the manufacturer intended.  And if the scanner beeped and didn’t take it, many times the checker had a long line would and would override / accept the extra coupon.

If you knowingly do that, it is sin even if the store takes it; unless of course they have a store policy that accepts using coupons like this.  I doubt any do.  What I did, on occasion, was manipulate the store’s system to save more money.  But it really isn’t saving, it is stealing.  I would justify doing this for many reasons:

• many times the checker scans the coupons so fast that she doesn’t get them all.  by giving the extra coupons, I was just gettting caught up with the ones that were not scanned
• many times I’m overcharged for an item because their system rings up higher than advertised price… my extra coupons helped me recoup some of these overcharges
• most people don’t use coupons, so my extras could be counted toward those same products purchased by others without a coupon
• I offered the coupon and they took it – all is OK…right???  It was on the up and up.

I’ve been convicted of this sin and repented.   But a couple of weeks ago, it popped up again.  I purchased marked down frozen gourmet tamales. There were several packages marked down to $5.00, which was way too much in my mind (this is where the justification starts).  There was one package where the last “0″ was barely visible, so I grabbed it knowing the checker would ring up for 50 cents.

Sure enough, I got the tamales for 50 cents.  If I had really thought they were 50 cents, there would have been no sin on my part.  However, I knew they meant for these to be $5.00 and I chose the package to benefit from a poor sharpie marker.

It was not worth it.  Afterward, when I had my quiet time with God, it came up again and again.  I knew I could not have fellowship when this was eating at my conscience.  Today I went back to the store for a few items.  I asked the checker to ring up an extra $4.50 in general merchandise.  She asked why and I told her the story.  She couldn’t believe I was so “honest.”  I looked at that woman and told her I’m not honest, I deliberately got those tamales for 50 cents knowing they were meant to be $5.00.  On the contrary, I’m a dishonest person with a bad conscience.  She smiled.

I feel much better now.  I’m so thankful it bothered me.  We all have sin and when our sin stops bothering us we’re in trouble.  If we continually sin and ignore our conscience routinely, God may turn us over to our sin.  What a terrible place to be.

I think many of us who are not perpetrating the sins our society thinks are really terrible, don’t think we’re as bad as those who murder, rape, etc.  However, sin is sin and separates us from God.  If you have Jesus, then a price has been paid.  However, even Christians may suffer for their sins in the here and now.  We should not think too highly of ourselves because our sin is “little.”  In reality, sin is sin period.  If you have any outstanding sin, repent and sin no more.  Each day is new, thank God.

Are children assets or liabilities?

We’re in a weird place in the world.  It is a very exciting time to be alive… and a scary time to be alive.  These time are impacting the way we view society and families… especially decisions about if/when/how many children.  Yesterday I had a moment that caused me to think about how we view children so differently than a couple of generations (or more) ago.

Many people in our society view children as a liability.  I can see why.  I thought this way for years and almost didn’t have any children b/c I didn’t like the risk/reward statistics.  One reason we view children as liabilities is b/c parents are caring and supporting for offspring until the kids are in their early 20s…. if they are lucky.  And many support their children until they die and leave their estate for their children to “manage”.    We are also relying on the gov’t to take care of mom/pop through social insecurity and medi-can’t-care, so adults no longer count on children to provide their support in old age.

We also live in a time where many children do not help around the house and will not give back as adults.  It begins with the parents because many of the household duties are outsourced today.  When we both worked, we had a maid, yard guy, dry cleaner and got meals that didn’t require much prep or cleanup.  And we left early in the morning and didn’t return until the evening.  The last thing either of us wanted was to direct children in “chores” after we’d worked all day.  Time constraints made that very impractical.  Most parents in this mode love their children tremendously (as I did), but you live the life you’re in at the moment.  It is hard.

Even households where one parent is home can also be too busy to get children involved in household responsibilities.  If you’re running to this and that multiple times a week, household stuff tends to take a back seat.  And these kids don’t contribute b/c they are not at home much either.

Yesterday the house was a mess and I was trying to clean the downstairs … got overwhelmed.  We’d been running around all week and were much busier than usual.  The girls were watching TV and I was working.  Bad idea.  I called them down and we all got to work.  They really helped me get the house in shape.  And as I thought about it, the more I invest in training them to take ownership in our home… the more of an asset they become.  I’ve known this fact for a long time, but get sidetracked implementing.

Instead, we (I’m guilty too) run around serving our children instead of teaching them responsibility.  We don’t make them eat what adults eat, we act as taxis way too much and provide too much electronic entertainment so we get a break from serving them more.  We’re (as a society…not you reading:) ) are  spoiling our next generation.  And many of those who are not spoiled are neglected.  Neglect also leads to children who do not become productive in society.

Years ago children grew up earlier.  I don’t think I’ve ran across the term “teenager” in the Bible.  Mary was probably about 15 when she had Jesus.  If our children contributed to the household at a younger age and matured earlier…. then maybe we’d start looking at children differently.  What if our kids really became adults at 18!  (Many of our young men in the military do.)  I think I’d have looked forward to motherhood at a much earlier age if I saw the job as releasing them earlier.  BTW, my view at 42 is much different now than the view of children I held in my 20s.

Parenting is wearing people out b/c it takes so many years for them to become adults…. if they ever do.  I know we’re always parents, but to have an immature son/daughter in their mid 20s has to be pure misery.   I want to be the future parent of an adult.  As a society we’ve gotten ourselves into this mess.

One silver lining to this entire economic / political mess that we’re in is that values may be realigned.  If we take families back  home and to the basics, then maybe we’ll focus more on training our kids to be assets instead of liabilities.     We may no longer qualify for the car loan to get “Jimmy” a new car at 16.  Or maybe we don’t do limos for prom anymore which is absurd in my mind.  Maybe girls don’t get solar nails before they can pay for them on their own.

Instead, mayby girls learn to cook.  Maybe Jimmy mows the grass instead of a lawn service.  They wash and put away their clothes.  And they go next door to help out the older couple… at NO CHARGE.

Yes, there may be a silver lining to economic hardship in this country.  I don’t wish for economic / political hardship but am trying to watch for where God could be changing our values back to His.  Children are a blessing from God when we do it His way.

“I’ll pray for you” platitude

This post is for the Christian community.  It is another one I’ll probably get negative emails / comments on, but this topic has been hitting me from various places in the last month.  So I’m writing about what’s on my mind.  I have athiests friends who read my blog (btw thanks for reading) … this post is not for you.  You’re welcome to read for entertainment, but this is really engaging my Christian friends.

Our country is facing serious challenges and people are hurting.  Our family has not had life altering changes (yes our 401K is significantly down, but that is small compared to others), but you never know what the future brings.  I have friends who are seriously hurting because of the economic downturns.  And we’re not even in a part of the country that has received the brunt of this storm.  But if you’re close to one family or experiencing this yourself, it does not matter if the whole city is falling apart because your friend’s pain/ your pain is enough to get your attention.  And I’m not talking about people who are suffering self inflicted pain from very poor decisions.  There are people who’ve tried to live it right and are suffering.

I was listening to a pastor from Detroit being interviewed.  His congregation has been hit tremendously with job layoffs.  This may not be what he said, but it is what I walked away with:  In times like these, telling a person who is losing so much “I’ll pray for you” is just a platitude.  This pastor pointed out his people needed to be ready for another family to move into their basement after losing their home.  And many of the families from his congregation are stepping up to the plate and opening their homes to other families.  This is much more meaningful than “I’ll pray for you.”  It is self sacrifice to help others.

It is easy to say “I’ll pray for you” and maybe shoot up a 5 sec prayer so you’ve done it.  But it is another thing to get inconvenienced.   I’ve become desensitized when someone says “I’ll pray for you” in passing.  It is like hearing someone walk by and say “how are you?”  Many times they really don’t want to know.  I have a couple of friends / family that say “I’ll pray for you” and I value it so much because I know it is a serious commitment on their part.   But when someone in church asks how you’re doing and you share a burden, then they respond “I’ll pray for you” – many times I take this response as: get out of the conversation quick card.

I’m guilty of this, so I’m directing this to myself as well as others who are guilty.  I have have many Christian friends who are much further along providing tangible responses in addition to prayer… they are truly living a life of example.   What I’ve done is try to start responding in more of a practical way.  For example, yesterday I met a lovely woman at church who was hurting, so I invited her to our house for lunch after church.  I enjoyed my time with her and hope it brightened her day.  I will pray for her, but tried to offer friendship rather than “the phrase”.

Even though I’m not a fan of using this phrase casually, I will continue to use it in certain circumstances.  For example, last week I told others “I’ll pray for you.”  It was a response to a specific prayer request.  If someone asks others to pray for a concern, then this response is appropriate.    I will also say this to my close circle of friends / family.   And I always want to be open to the Holy Spirit guiding my words, because this may be just what someone needs to hear.  But when I do, I need to take this seriously rather than using it to move on to the next conversation.

Adoptions Declining

I’ve been wondering if domestic and international adoptions are declining.  I found this article in the Washington post describing the decline of international.   I have presumed the decline because of economics.  It is extremely expensive adopting a child either here or abroad.  However, if you go through our gov’t social services, I understand the cost is much less.  In a magazine today I read there are 143 worldwide orphans.  That is almost 1/2 the population of the United States.  My brain can’t comprehend that number and the suffering of these children.

4 years ago we adopted our third child who was from China.  We had 2 biological children and opted to adopt for our 3rd.   It is one of the best decisions Dave and I have ever made.  This child has changed our family for the better, as did our first two children.  She is our daughter just as much as her older sisters.   She is so smart and has so much potential.   She makes people smile.  Just this week she was jabbering away to me while sitting in the grocery cart and a lady I didn’t know came up to me and commented “how adorable.”  It was nice to have the reminder because I get busy and miss the “how adorable” moments when I’m keeping an eye on three kids, coordinating coupons and hoping the little one doesn’t get out of her belt land on the floor.

We considered adopting again.  Once you get the adoption bug, you want to adopt every kid you hear about.  Last summer we hosted a pre-teen girl from Ukraine in a summer camp program.  Under this program, older kids are brought to the USA for 3 weeks and live with the host family.  It gives them a chance to experience family life in America.  It also gives potential adoptive families a chance to see how the older child fits into the family dynamics.  It did not work out with the girl we hosted – she didn’t want to be adopted for reasons we understood.   I learned a lot from this experience and loved seeing our girls open their hearts/home to this child.

The older kids in Ukraine (and elsewhere) have a hard time getting placed.  If they don’t have a completed adoption by age 16 their life takes a dramatic turn.  I’m not the expert, but from what I learned these kids graduate from the orphanages at age 16.  After leaving the orphange, most are on their own.  After that many die before age 18.   Others pursue terrible jobs just to survive.

In the magazine I was reading today – Worldwide Challenge – by Campus Crusade for Christ they were taking about how tough it is to “graduate” from foster care in the USA.  I can’t imagine being an 18 year old girl and being on my own.  These young adults really need a family for support.

As times get tougher with global economic problems, I think we’ll see a larger worldwide orphan problem.  It is one of the many challenges we face as a society in the coming times.

Satan’s plan for America

This morning I listened to a sermon:   Satan’s plan for America.  I believe (in my lifetime) pastors will be imprisoned for these sermons.   He addressed God’s law versus our government’s law.  I hear and often say we’re in a culture war.  However, he explains the war is a spiritual war.

I am an attorney, so this sermon was thought provoking because the pastor tied his sermon to the law.  When any government passes law that goes against God’s law, then they are declaring war against God because God’s law is ultimate.  Instead, government is putting itself over God as the ultimate authority.  Who is supreme… the United States Supreme Court or God?  It is God.

End times events blog

There’s a blog I regularly read that I have not included on my blogroll.  There are many views of end times in the Christian community, and even many more in the non-Christian community.   It is hard to find info on this topic that I completely agree with, which is why I haven’t put many on my blogroll.  However, I am fascinated with end times.  Especially with the current events we are witnessing.  I love seeing God be God.  God is so amazing.

This site takes current events each day and ties them to end times scriptures.  I do not always agree with his analysis, but it is thought provoking.   Since there’s even more going on in the middle east and our world right now, I thought I’d share this resource with my disclaimer.   When you’re reading analysis, remember you are reading man’s opinion, not God’s ultimate Word.

http://frankdimora.typepad.com/the_last_chronicles/

Being Joyful in an Uncertain Time

I’m pretty open about my view of the future.  The world is changing at breakneck speed.   This video is another example of how the world we know it may not exist  in the not so distant future.  Many of the changes in our world are wonderful and we benefit from these enormously.  However, the potential for craziness and sudden destruction is also amplified.

When I’ve posted about Celente or other grim news, I get comments and emails from other moms who are seeing the same thing.  The problem is we hear so much about the problem and less about how to adjust to this changing world.

I watch current events and try to prepare to the extent I’m able.   I’m finding these two activities are adding to my life, not adding more fear.  Some would think a focus on these things would take away from day to day life, but for me it is not the case.

Rather, there has been joy.  The more I look at current events, the closer I see Jesus’ return.  We do not know the exact time, but we do know the season.  It appears to me that we are in that season.  What an exciting time to be alive.

I’m not saying I’m never down because I still do have days of fear.  But I’m also learning joy like I’ve never known.   I listen to guys like Glenn Beck and don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  That is more reason to enjoy today.

I’m finding joy in things I didn’t notice before.  When I go into the grocery stores and see the shelves stocked, I thank God.  Before Ike, I just took it for granted.  When I can sleep at night without fear, I’m thankful we live in a place where crime is not rampant.  I’m thankful I have a sewer system that works and clean water.  I’m really thankful for our doctors and medical care.  This may seem trite, but the growing uncertainty of tomorrow is causing me to rethink today.

I’m thankful we have income.  At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. We’ve had such wealth in this country that many of our poor are rich by world standards.   The thought of seeing massive poverty is a new idea for many of us.  I believe we will have less wealth in the future.  But maybe this will strengthen our values and change our priorities.  Mine are certainly being tweaked.

I’m trying to laugh and play more with my kiddos.  The other day I played with Shea on the trampoline instead of wiping the countertops one more time.   Or sit down with the girls and read a book together.

And most importantly, I’m also finding joy in being able to worship God and have a Bible.  I recently heard if you’re caught with a Bible in North Korea that three generations in your family is executed.   Christians all around the world are facing terrible persecution.   I’m so thankful I can freely share the Gospel with my children.

There is joy in today.  I am trying to get ready for tomorrow without missing the moment now.

One more thing… here are a couple podcasts that are on point with my thoughts today that you might find helpful.

Familylife broadcast: “In uncertain times, we need to focus on that which is certain – the Word of God. Dennis Rainey helps us find certainty in uncertain times and faith in time of fear, as he offers practical tips for preparing your home to withstand the current economic and cultural storm.”

Olive Tree  Ministries May 23 2nd hour broadcast: Jerry Robinson is Jan’s guest. He is a World Net Daily columnist and author of the new book, “Bankruptcy of our Nation: 12 Key Strategies for Protecting Your Finances in these Uncertain Times.” Robinson says we are entering the most grave period of financial instability in history. He explains the real reason for the bailouts, why the dollar is doomed and what that means, the forthcoming hyper-inflationary period and how that compares to the Weimar Republic in the 1920s, and much more. Jan and Jerry also go over the 12 key strategies for your protection.

There’s also an excellent women’s Bible study in Houston teaching on this subject.  You can call the church and get CDs at little or no cost. Lois McCall is teaching “God’s Wisdom for Today’s Woman.”  I went to the first class today and it was excellent.  She showed the video at the top of this blog.

Those who oppose Israel will be cursed

I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God.  It says (my summary) those who support Israel will be blessed, and those who oppose Israel will be cursed.

I am very concerned about the consequences for our nation regarding our relations with Israel.  The Bush administration worked with Sharon to get Israel to pull out of Gaza.  Right after they pulled out, we had Hurricane Katrina.

Now it looks like Obama will push for the division of Jerusalem.  If we push Israel to give up God given territory, I would expect our country to experience God’s wrath.

Read here for more details on this current event.

The coming Evangelical Collapse – The Internet Monk

Today I listened to an interview with Kevin Swanson and the Internet Monk.  See here.  I started listening to the Internet Monk about a couple of years ago, however, his audience exploded about a month ago when his message on The Coming Evangelical Collapse hit Drudge.

I like the Internet Monk because he is a Southern Baptist and willing to address tough issues.  I have not listened to him enough to say I agree with him 100% on his theology, but I have agreed with many of his statements.  I am a member of a Southern Baptist church and like seeing someone in our community address this issue.  It is a controversial subject in because we all have opinions about the causes and cures.

I’m in the camp that believes Evangelicalism is on the sharp decline in America and unless we have revival, our children will be adults in a very secular country.  Or we may go from secular to another…. i.e., the Muslim and / or Mormon groups gain a majority and the secular turns to these to fill their spiritual void.  When I look at these two, they have a couple of distinct common general characteristics:  they have many children and parents tend to raise their own children in the faith.

Many Christian churches have conformed to the consumer / relevant models which has been a flop when you consider the success rates versus the amount of energy put into these ministries.   And I don’t consider numbers/buildings measures of success.   It is definitely the case in the Baptist community.   We’ve been members of several consumer driven churches.  We were expected to drop our kids off at Sunday School and get on the church hamster wheel.  I have many friends who are not going, or slipping in/out or worship in large churches where they can worship without being noticed.   They are not willing to drop off their kids to someone they don’t know for spiritual training and then are criticized for not getting on the programming bandwagon.  Rather, they are putting considerable effort into training their kids spiritually at home.  And then we get, but we need THESE kids so they can be the salt/light.  Show me where this is Biblical for children to be salt/light to 20 peers with 2 adults in the room???

So we have large numbers of Christian families in church limbo.  I know them personally.  I know I’ll get private emails after they read this:)  And these are families who pray together, study the Bible together and have a vibrant life with God.  They are also active in Kingdom work, just outside the church.   I am beginning to think if we do have revival, it will be outside the church.  But that should not be surprising considering the Great Awakenings were outside the established church.

I don’t have the answer but have been watching Christian groups that are trying something “old” and it has my interest.  When I mean “old”, they are not doing new things, but going back to what has worked in the past.

One is the family integrated church.  Voddie Baucham is a leader I respect in this area.  The 100% family integrated church may not be the perfect model, but I like what I see in these churches. I highly recommend his book “Family Driven Faith.”  He also gave a message to the Southern Baptist Convention challenging the leadership on they way we do church.  If you’re longtime Baptist, you’ll either been cheering or screaming.  see here

Another is the house church model.  These have really gotten criticism in the Christian community because some (maybe many) have deviated from true theology.  However, there are home churches with strong theology that are thriving.  Again, these churches may not be the perfect models, but I still like what I see.

Another group is the one I’ve tried to fit into.  We stay in a traditional church, while not conforming to the programming model.  I love worshiping with other believers and work in the church as long as it fits within our family’s plan.    This also has its flaws.

These will be interesting years for the American church.   It is really not about us or our programs, but about following Christ and doing what He is doing.  Yes, I sound like Henry Blackaby. The good news is that God is in control and working regardless of what we’re doing.  I don’t want to miss where He is active.

Ask NBC, What Does Jay Leno Have Against Pregnant Women?

Today I received an email from Tony Perkins at FRC Action.  If you’re prolife and interested in what Jay Leno is doing to promote abortion…. keep reading.

Here’s a copy of the email from FRCAction:

As the king of late night comedy, Jay Leno has few living peers. He is watched and beloved by millions of American viewers, which makes it difficult to understand his support for an organization that seeks to shut down facilities that have as their sole purpose to give a home and guidance to young ladies who find themselves pregnant with nowhere else to go.

On April 29th Jay Leno and his wife are hosting a fundraiser for the Feminist Majority Foundation, a radical pro-abortion group that not only advocates for abortion on demand, but also for the closing of pro-life pregnancy centers.

This month the Feminist Majority Foundation sent an e-mail to its 400 campus affiliates planning a nationwide protest against facilities that dare to offer women alternatives to abortion and the support they need to choose life.

Please let NBC know that is unacceptable and that you will not watch any show that stars Jay Leno until he apologizes to the hundreds of thousands of people who have been helped by pregnancy care centers and the hundreds of thousands of people who staff those centers.

Please contact Jeff Zucker, NBC Chief Executive, and ask him why his star, Jay Leno, is raising money for an organization that attacks pregnancy care centers.